Sarah writes to her parents.

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Since I have been away from home and in college, I have been very tardy about writing letters. I am sorry that I have been so careless and have not written sooner. I will now bring you up to date, but before you begin to read, please pull up a chair. You will not read any further until you sit down! Okay?

Well, I'm feeling pretty good now. The fractured skull and concussion I got when I jumped out of the dorm window after a fire broke out there shortly after I arrived are pretty much healed. I was only in the hospital for two weeks and I can almost see normally again and only have these insane headaches once a day. Fortunately, the attendant at a gas station saw the fire in the dorm and my jump out the window and called the fire department and ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital - and since the dorm had burned down and I didn't know where to stay, he kindly offered me to stay with him. Actually it is only a room on the 1st floor, but it is quite cozy. He is a very nice boy and we love each other very much and plan to get married. We don't know exactly when yet, but we want it to be quick so that people don't see that I'm pregnant.

Yes, mom and dad, I am pregnant. I know how excited you are to be grandparents soon - and I know you will love the baby and give it the same love, affection and guidance that you gave me as a child. The reason we are not getting married right away is because my boyfriend has AIDS, so we are not able to do a premarital blood test because I also got infected. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is nice and ambitious, although not very educated in school. Even though his skin color and religion are different from ours, I am sure you will not mind.

Now that I have given you the latest, I would like to tell you that there was no fire in the dorm, I did not have a concussion or fractured skull, I have not been in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected, and I do not have a boyfriend.

However, I do get an F in history and an F in chemistry, and I want you to see these grades in perspective!